STAY AWAY!!!

Since Rafa entered my life I have ventured out in my neighborhood at hours previously unknown to me (before 7am and after 10pm). And as I have mentioned here , this has led to some interesting but rather disturbing encounters. Even after Rafa and I survived the naked dude, creepy encounters persisted. Enough to definitely make me leery of venturing out of my apartment at odd hours.

So, I relay these and other stories to my father over the phone last week. My father is not one to overreact. In fact, his response is typically so laid back some might mistake it for neglect or indifference. Apparently, though, telling your dad that creepy men are approaching you at night is enough to get a reaction. After a completely not kidding conversation about whether or not I would consider purchasing and carrying a gun on my walks, he settled for pepper spray.

He called the next week to follow up to see if I had purchased the agreed upon pepper spray (i had not....Wawa doesn't carry it FYI). In the intervening week, he'd had time to think up some alternative self-defense strategies for his pumpkin. Had I considered carrying a big, heavy umbrella with me, he asked. I explained to him the impracticality of walking a puppy while carrying a giant golf umbrella/weapon. (I kept to myself the other downside of looking like a total lunatic and thereby canceling out and cuteness Rafa adds to my image!). I promised him I would get the pepper spray ASAP.

While out walking Rafa the next day my phone rings again....Big B two days in a row (mind you he has now called me more in this month than the last 4 months combined).
CB: "Hi Dad".
BB: "Carly I have been thinking about your safety some more"
CB: "OK"
BB: "You carry your cell phone when you walk right"
CB: "Yep"
BB: "If that guy comes up to you again, I want you to pull out your cell phone and stick it right in his face and take a picture and say STAY AWAY!!!!"
CB: "OK Dad. Will do"

I kept to myself that I would have to pull out the cell phone, hit MY PIX wait for it to load, get the perp in sight, and then forcefully ask him to stand closer to the street light b/c this thing doesn't have a flash.

Here Comes the Sun. Or Not.

One day it started raining, and it didn't quit for four months. We been through every kind of rain there is. Little bitty stingin' rain... and big ol' fat rain. Rain that flew in sideways. And sometimes rain even seemed to come straight up from underneath. - Forrest Gump

I have been thinking variations of that sentiment since what feels like forever. The calendar says that it is the middle of June. A cursory glance out the widow, however, says early March. WTF weather?!?! It feels like it has been gray and damp for eternity. And, frankly, I have had enough!

When I was in middle school I remeber reading this short story by Ray Bradbury. I can't remember what it was called but it told the story of a planet where it was only sunny once every 4 years (or something like that). Every other day it just rained or was dark (again, I can't remember the title so I may be taking some liberties with the details here). Well, on the day that it was going to be sunny, the kids at school were getting ready to go outside for recess and soak up enough glorious sunshine to get them through the next interminable rain spell. That was all well and good for everyone EXCEPT THE GIRL THEY LOCKED IN THE CLOSET.

I feel like that little girl right now, like I may never see sun again.

Bravo, Bravo!!

Check out that botox!!

About a year ago I was sent a link to a website called Stuff White People Like. I, being white, found much I could relate to on this list such as #85 The Wire #53 Dogs and #87 Outdoor Performance Clothing.

I would like to focus this post on # 28 Not Having a TV. I have lived without a TV before and even when I have had one I don't really watch a lot of TV. When I do, it is usually tennis or reruns of Scrubs and House. Now there are a bunch of reasons....I am bad at remembering to do stuff (like watching a show on a specific day at a specific time) and b/c my attention span isn't really great enough for TV. Even when I try to watch TV I found myself doing other things like right now when I sat down to watch Barefoot Contessa but instead am writing this blog. Oh yeah, I also like feeling intellectually and morally superior when I can inject a smug "no I didn't see it...I don't really watch TV" into conversations about pop culture.

Whatever, that is all in the past now. NOW I have The Real Housewives of New Jersey. I don't care about books or blogs anymore. Bravo has given me Theresa, Dina, Caroline, Jaqueline, and Danielle. They are in a word: Brilliant. Unlike, Bravo's previous attempts at this Real Housewife genre in NYC and the OC, this one really captures the lifestyle of these women. And as a result, it is nothing short of addictive. Like crystal meth addictive. I was late for my birthday dinner because I could not pry my mesmerized body away from the TV.

I have seen a few minutes here and there of the other seasons and found them to be unwatchable. The women were horrible and above all phony. The entire episode featured these broads posturing and flaunting for the TV. NOT JERSEY though!!!! All that over the top stuff is real!! And theses women KNOW they are ridiculous. They are tan, they drive ridiculous cars, they have accents, and they pay CASH!!!

I am going to use my new DVR to make sure I don't miss an episode. I freaking love it.

Another Year, Another Birthday

Last Saturday marked yet another anniversary of my birth. It was the 24th such anniversary (do not believe those slanderous haters on Facebook masquerading as "friends" so that they can malign me with their talk of "last year of your 20s" and other lies).

The day started a bit on the rough side. Rafa-bear and I went for our morning walk at about 5:45. Our route typically takes us just around the block...long enough to get the business done and get back in bed! On this morning we crossed the street in order to avoid the french fry land mine that is my neighborhood cafe after a Friday night (rafa bear has yet to learn that feasting on the buffet of street garbage in my hood does not really agree with his system). I digress...the move across the street turned out to be incredibly ill-fated. While rafa was sniffing around some grass I heard a man's voice. It being 5:45 on a saturday morning, it was very easy to hear. So I reflexively turn toward the voice and see a tall dude standing there, as irony would have it, in his BIRTHDAY SUIT shaking what his mama gave him. I screamed and yanked Rafa away toward the safety of our home. I alerted my neighbor who was outside and asked him to call 911. He didn't seem to get what all the fuss was about. THERE IS A NAKED MAN ON THE CORNER he seemed more amused that mortally threatened.

Anywho, the day was nothing but up from there!!! A trip to the gym, shopping for a birthday frock in Center City, a great dinner, and even better after dinner dancing with great friends. Nothing says 24 like bottle service and go-go dancers!!! Paparazi shots below (sorry, no photos from the morning walk):

What up cuz? what up gangsta??

I believe this the down low portion my Up High In the Middle Down Low signature move.